What is emotional intelligence? EQ, or emotional intelligence, is a concept developed by Daniel Goleman who wrote the best-selling book by the same name. EQ is a set of qualities that allow us to effectively manage our emotional brain. These qualities are not inborn, but can be learned and developed.

Goleman made the astounding claim, backed by research, that EQ is a better predictor of success in life than IQ, innate intelligence. People with high EQ are better able to
• manage the stresses of daily living,
• relate to others in a consistently cooperative and harmonious manner,
• solve problems creatively and effectively,
• keep from getting discouraged by challenges and disappointments, and
• stay healthier.

Our emotional brain is outdated! A primary function of our emotional brain is to identify potential danger and prompt us to quick action to insure our survival. This fight-or-flight response continues to serve an essential function when we are confronted by physical threat. However, in the 21st century this mechanism can be problematic. Arguments, deadlines, hectic schedules and traffic congestion can be perceived by the emotional brain as danger, setting in motion the physiological changes of the fight-or-flight response. Even though fighting or running are not helpful responses to these stressors, our bodies are prepared for action. We are charged up with stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol; our hearts pump hard, rerouting blood from the digestive tract to the large muscles of our extremities; we barely breathe, anticipating that huge burst of energy when we strike out or flee; our muscles tense; our brain becomes preoccupied in scanning our environment for danger so we can’t concentrate. While this fight-or-flight response continues to serve an essential function when we’re confronted with physical danger, it can be problematic at other times. Our associated survival emotions, anger and fear, can cause us to react inappropriately, or to suppress these emotions, precipitating internal stress. Regulating our emotions during such episodes is the best response.

Emotional Hijackings! At times a perceived threat seems so great that our emotional brain temporarily cuts off access to our rational brain, taking charge to resolve the threat. Daniel Goleman called this phenomenon an emotional hijacking. This experience can be frightening as we feel “taken over” and out of control; during an emotional hijacking, we may react defensively or aggressively, or we may just be unaware of what’s happening for a few seconds (our rational brain is unavailable to record our experience). So emotional hijackings can be dangerous, to others or ourselves.

There is no way to change our emotional brain and its functions. The best answer is to develop skills for slowing down our emotional brain reactivity until we can more clearly think in a rational manner about an appropriate response. Wise Mind is a useful concept: promoting an effective partnership between our emotional and rational brains for optimal functioning. Cultivating EQ skills and qualities allows us to develop this partnership well.

Check your EQ

Here are some qualities that indicate a high level of emotional intelligence. Identify the ones that you have developed well and then identify the ones that you want to improve.